What's A Jew To Do?

Every year Jews across the nation are faced with the same predicament: What's a Jew to do on Christmas? You could, once again, sit around your house cursing the damn Capitalists that ruined the entire month of December. Or, you could make something of yourself for a change and seize the day! Here are some suggestions for all of my fellow Jews and a few for the rest of my non-Christian comrades.

1. Eat Chineese/ Japanese food.
2. Check out the new (really bad) movies opening in theaters. Rocky Balboa anyone?
3. Call your grandmother in New York and bitch about all the crazy gentiles wearing ridicuously over-embellished holiday sweaters.
4. Check your bank account. You'll be happy to know that you didn't waste all of your hard earned dollars buying gifts for your entire extended family.
5. Make a list of all the times you wished somebody "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas." Then email it to Bill O'Reilly.
6. Make a shirt that says "I Support the War on Christmas." Include a picture of yourself wearing it in your email to Bill.
7. Call your aunt to thank her for the socks that she bought you for Hanukka.
8. Go to your neighbor's house to play with their new Ninetendo Wii and try eggnog for the first time.
9. Figure out all of the Jewish stereotypes that apply to you (probably all of them).
10. Update your blog that you've neglected for the past two weeks!

Happy Holidays everyone!
-Mopey Mandarin

Llamas: The New Miracle Drug

From BruneiDirect.com:
If terrorists ever unleashed a biological weapon, unusual molecules normally found in the blood of llamas could quickly help warn of the attack, scientists now report.
Full Article

Llama blood: Penicillin of the 21^st Century. Who would've thunk it?

Mexican Mochas and Some Popcorn Please

Free Movie Night Tonight at Empire Coffee
Everyone should go and help support this fine establishment.
What could be better on a Tuesday night than a free movie and good coffee.
And then stop by again this Saturday at 6PM for more free entertainment and more delicious coffee.

For more info check out their myspace. www.myspace.com/empirecoffee

Yee-Haws, Hell-Naws, and a WTF

It's that time again.

Hells Naw
To http://www.platewire.com, the site that allows drivers everywhere to "communicate their thoughts and feelings in regards to driving on todays' roadways." Okay, fine. But, uh, this: is causing major internet nausea. Why does every website out there have to be about e-flirting or whatever the hip internet lingo word is?
And if it isn't about some sexual predator it is about being a complete dumbass? Here is a Jacksonville example: Um?

Hells Naw
To this. Come on. Chill out.

Yee-Haw
To Jacksonville Public Library getting Audiobooks that are downloadable from the comfort of your own home. This is pretty cool. I bet that there are a lot of everyones cheering about not having to read to read (add that idea to WTF, please).

WTF
to Forrest High School going to the School Board for a name change case again. Yes, the name is bad/ racially inappropriate/ angering. But at the same time, stop freaking out about it and just do it, School Board, and then maybe improve Forrest itself. Because their education probably sucks more than the name, no?

-Apathetic Arlington